Adoption and your emotional well-being (1)

<p>Mr and Mrs Emeka (not real names) have been married for 12 years but have not achieved conception. They had gone to several hospitals and performed several tests, but they all returned a verdict that there was nothing wrong with either party. Yet the pregnancy they so much yearned for simply did not occur. Despite his best efforts to shield her, Mrs Emeka felt the brunt of the societal stigma and shame much more than Mr Emeka. She frequently cried herself to sleep while wondering what she had done wrong. She was tired of all the tests and procedures including the expensive fertility interventions that had also not succeeded thus far. She was at her wits end and she felt she was simply drowning. Her relationship with her husband was also becoming strained as they were sometimes irritable towards one another. Her in-laws were also not helping matters as they started making snide remarks to her hearing.</p>, <p>Alhaji and Hajia Halidu (not real names) had been married for nine years and they have a seven-year-old son. But the pregnancy was a difficult one and she had a caesarean section (c/s) delivery. However, it was very difficult to control the bleeding after the c/s as she also had multiple fibroids. After battling for a long time, they informed the husband that they would have to remove her uterus in order to stand a chance of controlling the bleeding. He immediately gave consent as he wanted her life to be saved. Subsequently, she was very upset when she recovered from surgery and was informed a few weeks afterward. She was inconsolable for several weeks and her husband struggled to make her cheer up. She lamented that the doctors should have tried more as she had always wanted to have many children. Alhaji Halidu understood perfectly well and felt somewhat guilty for giving consent so quickly. But then, how could he have gambled on losing her? He also wanted many children but considering his role in this scenario and how devastated his darling Hajia was, it was out of the question to consider marrying a se