291 Leading To Discover What Is Actually Going On

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" xml:lang="EN-US">Japanese people are famous for having learnt over many centuries how to get along with others.  High density living in the modern era and village communal agricultural activities in the past, have both seeded probably the best example of how to have a complex, but low friction society.  Arguments, fights, road rage do occur but compared to anywhere else with such a large population pressure cooker, Japan doesn't even rate as a contender for serious problems in this area.  </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" xml:lang="EN-US">The concepts of <em>tatemae</em> or proffered reality and <em>honne</em> or actual reality, are a big part of creating that harmonious environment.   Of course, as foreigners, we initially struggle with this separation of the real world and the imagined world.  It can seem that Japanese people can be two faced - saying one thing, but doing another.  Being the bearer of bad news rarely becomes an issue in Japan, because no one ever delivers it.  No shooting the messenger here because people have learnt to be extremely circumspect about how much they tell others and how they tell it.  The language is an excellent tool for this, because it is so excellent for vagary and obfuscation.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" xml:lang="EN-US">Western society does the same thing, but we tend to notice it more here.  At home, if your father-in-law has been on a "see-food-diet" (see food and eat it) but asks if you think he has lost weight, you are likely to plunge right into a <em>tatemae</em>answer that will tell him what he wants to hear. No unvarnished truth that he is obese and there is no difference from the last time you saw him, which would be the <em>honne</em>.  So we do it in our cultures as well, but Japan has institutionalized it.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" xml:lang="EN-US">Being indirect, vague, circuitous are all admirable traits for Japanese communicators.</span></p> <p class="MsoN