220: Monotone Mania

<p>Speakers are under assault.  Mobile phones tempt audiences to escape us to the internet and before you now it we have lost our audience to our message.  Putting people to sleep by the way we deliver our talk is unforgiveable.</p> <p> </p> <p>Normally we expect Japanese speakers to be boring, because their language is a monotone and so they apply the same formula when speaking in either Japanese or English.  That is okay in a way, because it is a cultural thing.  However, for foreigners there is no excuse.  If you are giving your talk in a monotone, expect to lose your audience.  Forty minutes of listening to some speaker’s monotone delivery is enough to make most people suicidal.  Regardless of how gripping the topic, the grip of slumber proves more powerful and relentless.</p> <p> </p> <p>This was me recently.  I turned up at the appointed time for the talk, all full of vim and vigour, eagerly awaiting the unveiling of this troubling topic.  The speaker came with a grand resume, a prince among princes on this topic.  It wasn’t princely.  He wasn’t even the jester.  It was more like a lecture from the hooded hangman or the grim executioner.</p> <p> </p> <p>My eye lids grew heavy as he droned on and on.  Seated unwisely toward the front, I struggled to observe the common courtesies, as my eyes willed to close.  It was excruciating.  I was sitting there thinking, why is such a vital topic being garrotted here in full view of everyone, by the way he delivering this talk?  What is it about this delivery that is driving me to sleep?</p> <p> </p> <p>I think there were three factors at play in particular.  The monotone itself is a noise we often refer to as white noise.  Your refrigerator often gives off this low hum. It is there all the time.  Well not your Japanese refrigerator, because the living spaces are are too small here to put up with that, so Japanese technology ensures they are a silent as the tomb.  I mean your big western model, in your big kitchen, in your big house.  The speaker’s monotone mimics this