#174 - Pinky Swears Are Binding

Olakira

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Comedy & Entertainment

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Yes, pinky swears are a lighthearted agreement rarely enforced, but we all know that there exists a code with the intention of not being broken. Because in this sue happy world of painful litigation, if we don’t respect the sanctimony of a real deal, then why agree to them in the first place? Locking pinkies is a silly way to execute blood brotherhood without the pricks. And I’m not referring to the kind of pricks who purposefully cut you off in traffic, but the kind you make on your finger by poking it with a needle. I’ve seen blood bonding in movies where two warriors will cement an agreement by slicing a line in their arm before the compulsory forearm broshake, then sealing the bond by wrapping a leather strap. The man love is palpable. In fact, you think they might rub beards. Either way, the hand is the tool that secures alliances. And the innocuous pinky can be the secret weapon. Because pinky swears aren’t easy to remember, but if we create a legally binding understanding that once a pinky swear is consummated, there is no way to overturn it without going to hell, or some shit like that. Like, it needs to matter more. Along with saving polar bears. This is good. Because even though the pinky is the runt of the litter, it has the plenty of potential. Your ring finger is cool but is basically employed for the purpose of identifying the symbol for a ball and chain called the wedding ring. The middle finger, well, that’s a no brainer—very useful indeed. The index finger is essential for booger harvesting and pointing at cool shit, which is of great importance. But the pinky has been overlooked. So, let’s see if it can handle

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