043 - Nice Guys Aren't Good Men

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For the Nice Guys reading and listening to this - I feel you. Because I’ve</span> <em><span style="font-weight: 400;">been you.⁠⁠ ⁠</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">100% self-confessed recovering nice guy here.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁠⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">With honest reflection, feedback, clarity, and some sobering acknowledgements I saw that some overarching motivations were because I needed to be liked.⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁠⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Insecurity yearned to feel like I was important to and valued by others so I could convince myself of the same thing.⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁠⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">What a shit-sandwich that was!⁠⁠⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One I kept making and eating.⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Yuck. ⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is the Nice Guy: hope that by being nice, people will like them - see them as a good nice guy. ⁣⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁣⁠⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">On the surface - “So what, who doesn’t like being liked?”⁣⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁣⁠⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Intent matters.⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁣⁠⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">‘I’ll Be this way and do this for you, and then in return, you like me and give me reassurance.’⁣⁠⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁣⁠⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">That’s not nice, brother. ⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It's a subtle form of manipulation. ⁣⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It's transactional niceness.⁠</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">⁠</span><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Yuck.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I know this can be a tough pill to swallow, it definitely was for