The Problem with 'Either/Or' Thinking

<p>Human brains love black-and-white thinking. Thinking in terms of absolutes: of ‘right or wrong’, of ‘good or bad’, of ‘all or nothing’.</p><p>With black and white thinking, there’s no tension or resistance – none of the discomfort that comes with cognitive dissonance. Because things are either one way or the other way, and this allows us to settle into the comforting <i>absence </i>of ambiguity – the comfort of being 100 percent convinced that we’re right, or that we are <i>good</i>, or that <i>they’re </i>wrong, or that that’s <i>bad</i>.</p><p>In truth, there is a level of indulgent comfort in this way of thinking. It saves us from having to think critically or negotiate the complexity of the reality we want to create in life.</p><p><i><strong>Here’s the catch:</strong></i> humans are not good or bad. Humans are good AND bad.</p><p>And ideas, thoughts and approaches are not right <i>or </i>wrong. They are, most often, right <strong>and </strong>wrong.</p><p>So, when we can hold these conflicting truths – of both things being true at the same time – and use our critical thought, we can evolve ourselves much more quickly.</p><p>When we understand that life is about succeeding <i>and </i>failing, getting it right <i>and </i>getting it wrong, being a good person sometimes and being a “bad person” others...there’s <strong>freedom </strong>in that.</p><p>Freedom in being able to use the word “and”, instead of “or.”</p><p>Today, we dig into what black-and-white thinking looks like and why it’s necessary to shift these thought patterns in order to grow in big, tangible ways.</p><p>If you’re bent on being <i>good </i>and being <i>right</i> and only speaking when you’re the ‘expert’ on a topic, you’ll miss that opportunity to evolve as a person.</p><p>You also miss the opportunity to listen deeply, to be curious, and to learn.</p><p>Being open and not afraid to consider other ideas – knowing that your values will hold true for you, or that maybe you want to question your values or your history, and that you’re startin