
Escaping External Validation Traps
TikTok Sports
Description
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Starting this podcast was the beginning of my venture into the online space. When I decided to “put myself out there” I didn’t really have a master plan. Over the last year and a half, I’ve created a sizable amount of content — here on the podcast and on the blog. I decided to hire a visibility strategist to give me some guidance. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My goal was to be more visible. I’m creating all these great things, so how can I invite more eyeballs (and ears) to see and hear what I’ve put out there.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At my meeting with the strategist, we looked at my follower and engagement numbers compared to those of my “competitors.” </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And my numbers didn’t look so great. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Hey, I’m a winner at zeros,” I joked. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Even though I was joking, looking at those zeros hurt. I felt shame and thoughts of “not good enough” creeping in. “Who am I to be doing this work?”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Here’s what was really at the root of this reaction — I was seeking external validation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When I’m in my genius zone creating content or working with clients and students, I’m great. I feel congruent and completely in my element. But this online space still feels new to me and so uncertain. Self-doubt creeps in. “How will I be received?”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As I’ve been talking with clients and students, the same external validation trap has been an issue for them too. Why do I call it a “trap”? Because it is! We do things that may or may not feel good to us to try to get someone else to notice and validate our efforts, give us a pat on the back, or tell us to “keep up the good work.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But other people have their lives to live, their issues, and they may also be chasing