Escaping External Validation Traps

TikTok Sports

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Starting this podcast was the beginning of my venture into the online space. When I decided to “put myself out there” I didn’t really have a master plan. Over the last year and a half, I’ve created a sizable amount of content — here on the podcast and on the blog. I decided to hire a visibility strategist to give me some guidance. My goal was to be more visible. I’m creating all these great things, so how can I invite more eyeballs (and ears) to see and hear what I’ve put out there. At my meeting with the strategist, we looked at my follower and engagement numbers compared to those of my “competitors.” And my numbers didn’t look so great. “Hey, I’m a winner at zeros,” I joked. Even though I was joking, looking at those zeros hurt. I felt shame and thoughts of “not good enough” creeping in. “Who am I to be doing this work?” Here’s what was really at the root of this reaction — I was seeking external validation. When I’m in my genius zone creating content or working with clients and students, I’m great. I feel congruent and completely in my element. But this online space still feels new to me and so uncertain. Self-doubt creeps in. “How will I be received?” As I’ve been talking with clients and students, the same external validation trap has been an issue for them too. Why do I call it a “trap”? Because it is! We do things that may or may not feel good to us to try to get someone else to notice and validate our efforts, give us a pat on the back, or tell us to “keep up the good work.” But other people have their lives to live, their issues, and they may also be chasing

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Sunny_Leaf

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