Gangs With Greek Names: Episode 4: A Phone Call From Uma

Excerpt:“Oh... My... God. Secret handshake? Seriously, Billy? Do they have a tree fort, too? Knock-knock. What's the password?”“No tree fort, but yeah we've got a password... sort of. A secret motto.”“Wait,we? You said, 'we.' You'reinone of thesefraternities?”“Um, yeah. Yes, I am. But don't mention it to my mom. She doesn't know yet.”“Does not compute, does not compute!” Uma was doing a robot voice. Maybe it was supposed to be the robot fromLost In Space. I'm not sure. She likes to do impressions, but she's terrible at them. You always have to ask who she thinks she's trying to sound like.“Explain,” she demanded.I told her about how I saw Greg getting jumped in the alley and all the rest of it, but she kept interrupting me with questions because none of what I said made the slightest bit of sense to her.“They jumped him for his colors,” I explained.“Hiswhat?”“His colors. You know, his shirt with the name of the frat and the, like, logo or whatever you call it and --”“Jumpedhim?”“Correct. These three big hoods from the hood frat jumped him and, well he's a really cool kid, so I jumped in.”“Youwhat?”“I jumped in, Uma. I, like, went tearing down the alley and – ”“Andjumpedinto afight, Billy?”“Yeah, I –”“Oh... My... God.Don't even!”“Don't evenwhat?”“Press release: former Oskanutu Springs High School honor student, president of Oskanutu Springs Young Poets Society and Oskanutu Springs Young Naturalists Society, assistant editor of Oskanutu Springs High Beacon, and member in good standing of Oskanutu Springs High Chess Club caughtfightinginalley!Allegedgang member!Witnesses claim, 'he jumped in!'”“You should've seen it, Ooms. It was amazing. I tackled this huge kid.”“Tackledhim,” she mocked in disbelief.I didn't blame her in the least. It was a preposterous story I wouldn't have believed about me either. Except, of course, it was true, strangely enough.“Yup. I still kind of can't believe it myself,” I said. “I tackled him... and then hebeat the crapout of me.”“Well... then...maybeI believe you,” Uma acquiesced.“Yeah, I